Google the word ‘consent’ and it says ‘permission for something to happen or agreement to do something’, implying that the person supposed to give consent is well aware of the consequences and has the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, the choice being theirs. Now google the words ‘yes’ and ‘no’. It says the person gave an affirmative or negative response respectively. It is implied that the person seeking consent needs to understand that both ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are valid responses and they have to be obliged. Simple concept, isn’t it? For any person who understands the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual components of themselves, these three words shouldn’t be incomprehensible.
And yet here we are, in a world where the word ‘consent’ has lost all its meaning. The rising number of rapes, abuse, marital rapes, and acid attacks proves it. Any act of sexual advances towards a woman without her consent is punishable by law. Sexual intercourse without consent is the definition of rape. Disfigurement of the face or any serious bodily injury is considered grievous hurt. But unfortunately, the concept of ‘marital rape’ has to yet to reach the steps of the Indian judicial system. Isn’t it a worrisome place to live in, when something as basic as consent has to be enforced by law?
Well, to begin with, consent is no more a part of any intimate act. It is just one person deciding to have sexual intercourse or any other form of intimacy and the other person going through it. Was she even asked, ‘yes’ or ‘no’? Was her ‘yes’ just a sign of surrender? Maybe she said ‘no’ and it just fell on deaf ears, or worse it was heard and she was tormented for saying ‘no’. Some have the audacity to say, that the woman’s clothes scream ‘yes’, others say her defiance yells a ‘yes’ at them. Does it imply that she says ‘yes’ every time she doesn’t abide by a man? Or does it imply she says ‘yes’ every time she dresses for herself? Note this down: ‘Yes’ has everything to do with a woman when she says and means it. And nothing to do with what a man thinks the woman says or implies.Consent is the respect of her free will, her option to choose. May it be the wife, the girlfriend, or the girl being courted. Her ‘no’ doesn’t mean she playing hard to get. Her ‘no’ doesn’t mean disrespecting the man. Her ‘no’ should be addressed as ‘no’ only. Remember only ‘yes’ means ‘yes’. Her silence to endure it, her surrender, her fear of losing her love or her fear of being broken physically and mentally may not let her say ‘no’ sometimes. That most definitely doesn’t mean ‘yes’. Let’s not over-simplify or over-complicate the concept of consent.
Consent has to be asked and not assumed. Consent has to be out of choice and not compulsion. Consent has to be out of willingness and not reluctance. Consent is when she wants to and not when she has to. Simple, isn’t it? Let’s learn and preach the meaning and importance of this seven-letter word, ‘CONSENT’. Let’s also learn and preach that, ‘no’ means ‘no’ and only a ‘yes’ means ‘yes’. Let’s learn nothing is to be forced, it should be mutual.
Let’s learn. Let’s ask. Let’s respect.
By Youth Against Injustice Foundation
